Gifts of Love Read online

  She looked scandalized. “Jason, the very idea—”

  “I’ll buy you an iron skillet to threaten me with. That will lend us a touch of authenticity.”

  In the midst of her anger Laura felt a smile tugging at her lips. “I do not want a skillet. And I do not want to play for you.”

  Jason looked at her with those disturbing black eyes, and although they were in a room filled with people, she felt as if they were alone.

  As the hour grew late the guests became drowsy. They began to retire, the ladies gliding to their rooms, where maids waited to assist with the removal of bustles, petticoats, and corsets, and the brushing-out of intricate coiffures. Laura walked upstairs with Sophia while Jason remained with the men, who lingered over cigars, brandies, and unfinished conversations.

  “Things seem to be going rather well,” Sophia remarked as they neared Laura’s room.

  “You’re referring to the guests?” Laura asked cautiously.

  “Two in particular,” came the airy reply. Sophia stopped and pressed her cheek to Laura’s. “Good night, dear.”

  “Good night,” Laura replied ruefully, and went to her room, where a small, cheerful fire was burning in the grate. The bedroom was decorated in bright floral chintz patterns of coral and green, the windows draped with cream lace curtains. A light netted canopy hung over the old high-post bedstead. But what most attracted her eye was the masculine trunk in the corner of the room, opened to reveal her husband’s possessions.

  She and Jason would be sharing the room. Laura remained still, while inside she felt a flurry of panic. Foolishly she had not considered the possibility until this moment. Of course they would be expected to share a bed…there were so many guests, and Sophia barely had enough rooms for all of them.

  “Missus Moran?” The maid’s quiet voice broke through her scattered thoughts. “Would ye like me to help wi’ yer dress now, or—”

  “Yes, do,” Laura said, still staring at the trunk. She hardly felt the tugs at the hard-to-reach fastenings that trailed down the back of her gown.

  Jason would want to stay the night with her. From the way he had been behaving lately, she had no doubt of that. But he had claimed he would not force her. If she pleaded with him to keep his distance, what would he do? Certainly he would be angry, but she did not think he would hurt her.

  But would she ask him to leave? A mixture of fear and excitement nearly made her dizzy. What if she let it happen? What had Hale said…these matters were simple…just show Jason she was willing to accept his attentions.

  Am I willing? she thought to herself. She could find no clear answer. It was up to Jason. If he approached her in a kind manner, if she could just let herself believe that he would not mock or hurt her, she would be willing.

  She dressed in a white nightrail embellished with hundreds of tiny ruffles and tucks, the long sleeves and bodice ornamented with frothy lace. The white cambric wrapper she wore over the nightrail was even more elaborate, bordered with three deep lace ruffles at the hem and more lace from the wrists to the elbows.

  Deciding to attend to her hair without assistance, Laura dismissed the maid with a smile of thanks. She sat at the walnut-veneered dressing table and stared into the small tilted looking glass. One by one she pulled the pins from her hair until the tangled chestnut waves fell down her back. Brushing it would take a long time, and the task was soothing in its monotony.

  Laura was nearly finished with her hair when she heard a rap on the door, and her husband entered without waiting for permission. Their eyes met in the looking glass, his very dark, hers wide and green. Slowly she set the brush down. Still watching her, Jason pulled off his green-and-black-patterned waistcoat and narrow black necktie, and tossed them onto a chair.

  The silence was heavy between them, the tension deepening until Laura could not bear it. With an incoherent murmur, she jerked up from the chair and strode rapidly to the door. She didn’t know where she was headed, she only knew that she could not stay there alone with him another moment.

  Jason caught her easily, his arm wrapping around her waist. He pulled her quaking form against his. “No, don’t,” he whispered against her ear, his hand sliding under her hair. His palm stroked up and down her narrow back.

  “Not now. Please, not tonight,” she managed to say.

  “It all started with that damned wedding night,” he murmured, fondling the back of her neck. “It was all my fault.”

  “No.” She swallowed and shifted against him, and his hold tightened. “I behaved like a child,” she ventured. “I—I turned you away.”

  “I didn’t understand why, not at the time.”

  “I was…you were…” She flushed, overwhelmed by the memory…

  Their wedding day had been long and nerve-wracking and tiresome, and by the time they had retired for the night Laura was exhausted. Jason had been emotionless and matter-of-fact throughout the wedding and reception, and she wondered if he had any feelings for her at all. After allowing her time to change into her nightgown, he appeared in her room with his shoulders squared as if for an unpleasant duty. Since that was precisely what her mother had informed her was soon to follow—an unpleasant duty—Laura regarded her husband with a mixture of reluctance and alarm.

  Jason had never looked as tall and overpoweringly large as he did in that moment. In order to hide her fear, she kept silent and looked away from him, her heart thumping violently as she heard the sound of his breathing. He slid one hand behind her head and the other around her rigid back. His warm, hard mouth pressed against hers for a long time, and she squeezed her eyes shut, her body frozen with confusion. She knew that something was wrong, felt that he wanted something from her that she was not able to give. His hand moved over her back and then to her breast. It was when he touched her there that she pushed him away in a quick, nervous movement. “Don’t,” she said without thinking.

  His eyes narrowed in anger, as if he had been expecting the rejection. “You’ll have to get used to the idea of being my wife,” he said, and reached for her again.

  This time his mouth was hurtful, and his hand roamed over her body with insulting boldness. She tolerated it for as long as she could before jerking away with a tearful plea. “Don’t touch me, I can’t bear it!”

  He looked as though she had slapped him. She covered her face with her hands, her whole body shaking. It was with relief and horror that she had heard him walk out of the room and slam the door…

  The episode had been repeated a few times since then, until Jason had not approached her anymore. Until tonight.

  “You were so strong,” Laura whispered, “and you wanted so much. Things I didn’t understand…things I still don’t understand. I know now that you didn’t intend to frighten me, but you did. There was such a look in your eyes…” She took a trembling breath.

  It was fortunate she did not look up, for the same expression was in Jason’s eyes right then, a hot glow of hunger.

  “I didn’t realize how innocent you were,” he said, raising his hand to her head, stroking her flowing hair. “The mistake was mine. I was too damned impatient for you. When you stiffened and pulled away from me, I thought it was disgust you were feeling, not fear.”

  “Disgust?” she echoed in bewilderment.

  “Because you knew I was so far beneath you. Because you’d been forced into marriage with someone whose ancestors were nothing but peasants in the poorest country in Europe. I knew what everyone had been telling you, that I was not fit to touch—”

  “No!” Impulsively she covered his mouth with her fingers. “I was not forced into marrying you,” she said in astonishment. “Did you think I had no choice?”

  His blank look was her answer.

  “Oh, Jason, my father gave me every opportunity to refuse your proposal! Didn’t you know that?” She smiled tremulously as she saw the shock on his face. Had he been so accustomed to prejudice from others that he had expected it of his own wife? “No wonder you made th
ose remarks about buying me! But I was more than willing to marry you. The decision was mine to make.”

  Jason pulled Laura’s hand away from his lips. “You don’t have to say that.”

  “I’m not lying, Jason. It’s the truth.”

  He shook his head stubbornly. “I made the bargain with your father before I proposed to you.”

  “And you thought he would have made such a bargain without my consent? You thought I was merely a pawn with no say of my own?”

  He scowled at her. “Yes.”

  “You were wrong,” she said with a touch of impatience. “I wanted to marry you. For heaven’s sake, I’ve wanted to be your wife since I was fifteen years old!”

  Suddenly Laura realized what she had said, and she covered her mouth with her hand. The bald declaration seemed to echo in the small room. Don’t let him ask why, she thought frantically, please don’t let him ask why.

  Mercifully he didn’t.

  But he stared at her strangely, his black eyes seeming to read her most private thoughts. Blindly she lowered her head, and was confronted with the broad, shirt-covered expanse of his chest. He spoke softly, his mouth against her hair. “I want to set aside the past, Laura. I want to share a bed with you tonight.” The tip of his finger traced the delicate edge of her ear, causing her to shiver. “Most of all, I want you to trust me to be gentle with you.”

  She had imagined and dreaded this moment for so long. Jason had never been this way with her before, so tender and careful. The choice of surrender was suddenly made easy. Tears sprang to her eyes. “I don’t know what to do,” she faltered.

  “I’ll show you.”

  Three

  Deftly his fingers moved among the buttons and bows of Laura’s wrapper until the garment slipped from her shoulders. Jason pushed the white cambric down her arms and over her wrists. She stood before him in her nightgown, her soft body unconstricted by stays and laces. He settled his hands on the natural curve of her waist, his senses enthralled by the scent and nearness of her.

  Little by little he sank his hands into her loose hair until he was cradling her scalp. He bent his head and covered her mouth with his. Laura shivered at the masculine brandy-taste of him. The tip of his tongue coaxed her lips to part, and he kissed her as if he would never have enough, his hands easing her head back. Swaying dizzily, she reached for his waist to keep her knees from buckling. He wrapped his arms around her until her breasts flattened against his hard chest and her thighs were leaning into his. Her mouth twisted wildly, her tongue seeking his, her slim body molded to him like a second skin.

  They broke the kiss at the same time, gasping roughly. Laura took advantage of his loosened arms and stepped back, clasping her hands to the center of her chest. Her heart thundered in a way she thought he must be able to hear. She glanced from Jason’s flushed face to the thrusting outline at the front of his trousers. Hastily she looked away, but not before he had seen.

  “Curious? Here, come closer.” He drew her forward, tender and predatory. “Don’t be afraid.”

  “No, Jason, I don’t—” She stumbled against him, and he caught one of her hands, bringing it to his groin.

  Heat radiated through the cloth of his trousers, seeming to scorch her hand. She blushed and tried to pull away. He covered her hand with his own and kept it pressed against his rigid flesh.

  “Have you ever seen what a man looks like?” he murmured among the wisps of hair at her temple.

  She turned her hot face into his shoulder, shaking her head.

  “Never spied on Hale and his friends taking a swim, or—”

  “No, never.” She gave a choked laugh, still hiding her face.

  A teasing note entered his voice. “You were a proper little girl.” Slowly he let go of her hand. Her fingers remained against him for a scant second, then withdrew to the safer territory of his waist.

  “My mother made certain that all of her daughters were proper.”

  “She wanted to keep you sheltered from men,” he said without asking.

  “Well, she…has never had a good opinion of them.”

  “Because of your father.”

  “Yes.” Laura stared at him curiously. “Hale must have told you about that.”

  “Why don’t you tell me?”

  “My father is a good man, a kind one. But…there have always been other women. Sometimes his involvements are merely flirtations. Sometimes they are more than that.” She shrugged helplessly. “He has always been discreet, but Mother has known for years. She says it’s to be expected that a man will be faithful to a wife for only so long. She says that most husbands will stray because…” Abruptly Laura fell silent.

  “Go on.”

  “I don’t think—”

  “Tell me.”

  She obeyed reluctantly. “Because they are creatures of a bestial nature.” Her green eyes met his. “Mother also said that you were probably more bestial than most.”

  Jason grinned, knowing that of all the people who had disapproved of their marriage, Wilhemina had objected the most. “Her opinion of my character has never been a secret.” He became serious, lifting her chin with his fingers. “Do you believe what she said about unfaithful husbands?”

  Her gaze skidded away from his. “I don’t know.”

  His voice was very quiet. “Do you think I’ve been unfaithful to you?”

  Startled, she looked up at him. Her mouth went dry. “Things have not been right between us,” she managed to whisper. “You’ve had cause to be.”

  There was a flash of something vibrant, perhaps anger, in his eyes. But his hand was still gentle on her chin. “By now you should know me well enough to be certain of a few things,” he said, his gaze boring into hers. “I never lie. When I make a promise, I keep it.” Laura wanted to shrink away, but she was mesmerized by his intensity. “I took you as my wife because I wanted you and no one else. I made a vow to forsake all others. It’s been hell going to bed alone, knowing you were just a few doors away. More than once I thought about going to you and taking what was already mine.”

  “Why didn’t you?” she whispered faintly.

  “Pride. That and the desire for you to open your arms to me willingly.” His smile had a self-mocking quality that made her uneasy. “And so I’ve waited. And since the day we were married I’ve been planning my revenge for all the times I couldn’t have you.”

  Laura turned pale at his quiet tone. “What…what kind of revenge?”

  He drew closer, his hard-planed face serious, his mouth nearly touching hers. “I’m going to give you such pleasure that you’ll weep for each and every night we could have had together.” He picked her up and carried her to the bed.

  The firelight spread its wavering glow throughout the room as Jason lowered Laura to the mattress and stripped back the covers. Ferociously he tore off his shirt and bent over her, his hands framing her face as he kissed her. Instinctively she adjusted her mouth to his, answering the sweep of his tongue with delicate touches of her own.

  Curiously she touched the hair on his chest, trailing her fingers through the thick, springy mass. She found a thin line of silken hair arrowing down to the waist of his trousers, and she rubbed the back of her knuckle across it in a questioning touch. To her surprise, she felt Jason’s breathing turn ragged.

  He growled low in his throat and sought the peak of her breast through the bodice of her nightgown. Finding the hardening tip with his mouth, he nibbled gently. Laura gave a startled cry and twisted away from him, holding her hand to her breast.

  “Did I hurt you?” he asked huskily.

  Her cheeks pinkened, and she shook her head.

  He pulled her protective hand away, replacing it with his own, his thumb circling the throbbing nipple. As he caressed her, he stared into her eyes, watching the green depths soften with pleasure. “You’re so beautiful, Laura…I want to see the rest of you.”

  She didn’t make a sound while he untied the bodice and took hold of the he
m to draw it up her legs. She pressed her knees together modestly, feeling the cool air sweep over her legs…hips…waist…chest. Casting the garment aside, Jason gathered her slender body against his. When he pulled his head back to look at her, there was an absorbed expression on his face that she had never seen before. For him, too, time was suspended, and the outside world had disappeared. His kiss was relentless, flavored with desperation as he sought to make her understand how much he wanted her. Laura clasped her arms around his neck and sank her fingers into his black hair.

  With a muffled groan, Jason let go of her just long enough to shed the last of his clothes. He pulled her to the mattress with him and slid his hands over her body with incredible gentleness. Her gaze wandered over him, and for a moment she couldn’t breathe as she saw his naked, fully aroused body, primitive and golden in the firelight. Pinning her between his muscled arms, he lowered his head to her breasts. He covered the point of her nipple, his tongue gliding wetly across the aching bud. “Do you like it when I kiss you here?” he murmured.

  “Yes…oh, yes…”

  His mouth swept over her breasts, and he used only the lightest touches of his teeth and tongue. Wonderingly he stroked the length of her neck, the vulnerable hollow between her breasts, the downy smoothness of her stomach. Laura explored his body with the same sensitive lightness, bashfully touching the hair under his arms, the lines of his ribs, the lean surface of his flanks.

  His palm ventured over her knees, his fingers tracing the line between her thighs. Her legs were still clenched together, resisting as he insinuated his hand between them. “Laura,” he muttered, and she understood what he wanted. She felt the power and urgency contained in his body, the turgid length of him burning against her hip. “Laura, open to me.”

  She closed her eyes tightly and parted her knees enough to allow the gliding pressure of his hand. Jason kissed her breasts, her throat, whispering that she was safe, that he would take care of her. His lips brushed against hers, coaxing them apart, and his tongue reached for hers in skillful enticement that sent every hint of fear spinning out of reach.